Children and Organizations

Two days ago after I noticed my kids had their noses in their iPads all day or until it runs out of power (whichever came first) I felt that I had to do something fast before their brains turned into mush. The problem is I have to work and I can't watch them all day so I had to be a little creative.

I decided to do something very simple and see how it pans out: every night I'd give my daughter a list of tasks to do throughout the following day. Each task had a measure for achievement and another measure for overachievement. All she had to do is to perform the task and tick the appropriate box next to it once done. If she achieves it all she gets BD1 and if she goes the extra mile she gets BD2.

It's only been two days and I still can't believe the amount of excitement it created! When I got home from work that first day she couldn't wait to tell me what she has achieved and to my pleasant surprise I found that she decided to go the extra mile on all the tasks.

Last night I prepared the second task list and posted it on her board and in the morning I explained what needed to be done so earlier in my office I got this whatsapp voice note from her asking me to send her the link for the quraan verse she's supposed read today.

Some of the tasks were reading a book or drawing a picture and others were aimed at engaging her brother or helping him with his summer homework. One of them is always a writing exercise to engage her imagination such as what would it feel like to be a fly.

Most will say that my HR persona has spilled over into my home and I don't mind that at all. Every group of people with a shared objective is considered an organization and most organizational insights provide great benefit in home organizations and vice versa. 

Doing this helped me realize a few things about human behavior irrespective of age:

- Giving someone a purpose and incentive means you have given them motivation and excitement; something to look forward to and a sense of achievement.

- When people know what is expected of them they will perform. When they know what going the extra mile looks like they are more likely to go that extra mile and not settle for the minimum.

- Timely reward that is constant and proportional assures the continuity of the whole process.

It's amazing how much we can learn about ourselves and others just by observing our children. Their basic, almost primal instincts are the best testing grounds to see how the world is constructed and how human behavior is influenced by our surroundings. Most importantly, they teach us simplicity in an increasingly complex world...

My new helper is #human_too

When I was invited to be part of the judging panel for the Bahrain Awareness Award, I jumped to the opportunity and here’s just one reason why:

 

This week, and after a 3 month wait with a lot of jumping through hoops to fulfill her government’s migration requirements, my new domestic helper has arrived safely in Bahrain. It is so close to Ramadan that you just know how precious her arrival was to me. She is 32 yours old and single mother to 3 children the youngest of which is only 2 years old…

 

I welcomed her into my home and showed her around and then took her to her room to rest. Every morning she would come down with bloodshot eyes and a despondent look on her face until one day I asked if she was alright and if she needed anything when she suddenly disintegrated into a flood of tears. Once she calmed down she explained that she misses her children and especially her youngest who was too small to understand why her mother was no longer with her…

 

As a mother myself, this one statement was like a knife in my heart triggering a storm of erratic emotions. I started questioning my own morals wondering why it didn’t occur to me that this would be the case and whether or not I’ve made the right decision causing this rift in such a fragile family. Am I the villain for extricating her from her world and throwing her into this one? Have I created too many victims in the process of ensuring my own comfort?

 

Would I ever consider leaving my children and traveling thousands of miles to take care of somebody else’s children? Would I be willing to deprive them of access to my affection and venture into unknown territory with a questionable living and working environment? They hear of the stories of abuse and destitution that come out of our region towards domestic helpers and in spite of it all they do come; and there is only one reason for that: 

 

S U R V I V A L

 

Human beings were born with choices and decisions and consequences; some of us more than others. Those who believe that they have no choice are the ones who compromise on their happiness and that of their children for what they believe is their own good do so because they run out of choices. They have exhausted all possible options in their countries and have barely managed to survive. The only choice they seem to have is to live at someone else’s mercy five time zones away just to barely make enough to give their children a better life… without them in it. They settle to become mere spectators in the new and improved lives they’ve created with the meager income they earn by making our lives easier.

 

As recipients of their services, as custodians to their welfare, as privileged individuals happily living in the bosom of our families able to embrace our own children whenever we please, would it be too much trouble to treat them with a little respect? 

 

The Bahrain Award has given me a way to contribute to this cause. 50 submissions, 23 shortlisted and 750,000 views. If only 1% of these views have had an impact we would have 7,500 people paying their domestic help on time. Next round is going regional; more views and higher impact and driven by the future “sirs” and “madams” of their own households… just imagine what will become when they have their own domestic help…

 

It is a flash forward of a future that makes me proud of our youth today.

 

For more information about the award and this year’s winning submissions visit www.bahrainawards.com .

 

 

The DBA Monologues

Time: 7:00pm

Kids are in bed and I have to work on my paper I’ve been putting it off too long.

Ok but first I need to pick this loose thread off my shirt… It may take hours it’s a very stubborn thread. It’s been bothering me for weeks every time I wear this shirt but I’ve been putting that off too.

No… I will not cut it with scissors I have to get to the root of the problem or it will only come back!

Oh look what the cat’s doing! I must Snap this! But first let me Snap something about my paper so people will be impressed that I’m working so hard on it…

[Long period of staring into space and panicking about not finishing paper]

Ok how about I search for more literature? The 173 articles I already downloaded and neatly grouped into a folder marked “literature folder # 57” just don’t seem to be giving me what I need…

Searching…

Hey this isn’t about identity conflict of working mothers in the Middle East! This says “working girls”! 

[Reads more feminist literature on prostitution in the Roman Empire]

Interesting as this is (NOT!) I should really get back to my paper. Best thing to do is to take each article separately and make my notes.

[Opens first article and reads the abstract]

Hey what was that noise!? Oh it’s my stomach… better get something to eat.

“Hello? Il Capo Pizza?”

[Re-reads abstract]

Darn bladder! I shouldn’t have had so much coffee! But it does enhance my cognitive abilities so its fine I’ll just go real quick.

[Re-re-reads abstract]

[Opens blank Word document]

[Stares at blinking cursor]

Hey I should write a blog post about staring at the blinking cursor! Maybe style it as a cross between Seinfeld and The Simpsons… but no, I must focus! The brilliant blog post can wait.

[Re-re-re-reads abstract]

DING DONG!

Yay pizza’s here! I’m due for a break anyway I’ve been at it for too long…  

Time: 7:08

 

Bahrain’s New Economy

Daniel Bell (1974) came up with the concept of Post-Industrialism or Post Industrial Society. It refers to the shift from a dominance of the manufacturing industry with its assembly line workers to the growth of the service industry and its accompanying service oriented employees. It comes with increased automation replacing blue-collar workers with machines and enhanced focus on service, lean structures and professional workers.

What does this have to do with anything?

I don’t know but it brings to mind a phenomenon that is taking place right here at home. The information above this paragraph came from Wikipedia, below it is just me theorizing on what is taking place with the market in Bahrain today and relating it to Bell’s theory. It has no merit academically, economically, politically, comically or otherwise. However, with all pieces of useless research must come the researcher’s own contribution and I will gift you mine; no citation required.

In its early days, Bahrain started out as a pearl trade country moving later on to manufacturing from aluminum extrusion to refining GCC oil. Jobs in large manufacturers like Alba or Bapco were highly lucrative and extremely competitive and the service industry was yet to be born. Then came the banking “revolution” creating our own little post industrial culture especially after opening the competition in the telecom industry and I observed that service suddenly became a priority on everyone’s agenda.

Now here comes my little contribution to this particular body of research…

The financial crisis and later on the political one have created an employment void. People lost jobs in the service industry and business have shrunk tremendously causing a shortage of positions available for the increasing number of college graduates. However, the amazing outcome of these mishaps is a new wave of employees: the self-employed. Home grown businesses have emerged with the social media spike and we have seen many of them flourish before our eyes on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram and then move out of the virtual world and into the trade fairs and markets and permanent offices, shops and kitchens.

So Bahrain moves from the industrial revolution, to the service industry to the entrepreneurial industry; what I would like to call “post-post-industrialism”.

Please let us not focus on the ridiculousness of the term I’m about to coin and let’s pay attention to its meaning.

We, Bahrainis, do not succumb to market conditions or go around begging for jobs. We CREATE jobs for ourselves and we do it well! We have talents and business sense and we put them together to create innovative products and services that compete with those in medium and large companies. We do what we love and that is our job. The typical Bahraini is independent and resourceful. We don’t wait for handouts or help. We earn our respect and place in society and business and we make a name that sells itself. We don’t shy away from laborious tasks and we don’t look down upon those who perform them if we happen to be more fortunate. We are down to earth and amiable and we get our hands dirty and we are PROUD OF IT.

This article is a tribute to all of those Bahraini entrepreneurs who made it and those who are about to make it and even to those who might have failed because its only a matter of time until success comes-a-knockin’.

The Blog Connection to Academia

As I embark on my next phase in my DBA journey I had a couple of months of stagnation where I just couldn't go through with my research. The originally intended topic was Migrant Worker issues in Bahrain and while it is a subject still close to my heart I was relating to a more potent internal struggle that screamed to be explored and studied and shared with the academic world. It is a topic to which many would relate especially in this patriarchal society in which we live. Those couple of months were a constant internal debate of the aspects of my life that I hold dear and important and the duality of my role as professional and homemaker where the time and effort distribution are not equal yet the expectations are high at both ends. It is a situation where societal norms are pulling me to one side while the need to maintain my place in the professional arena pull me to the other. The decision was then made for me that this will be the topic of my study.

I started reading feminist and post colonial literature on this very subject and while I've always struggled with non-fiction I found that I can actually lose myself into this form of prose. It is the first time I actually enjoy anything that is not bound by the parameters of a plot and a climax and a surprise ending. Currently reading Remaking Women: Feminism and Modernity in the Middle East; a compilation of articles edited by Lila Abu-Lughod with a primary focus on Egypt and secondary focus on Turkey and Iran.

Just looking at the title caused me to raise an eyebrow as it was the first time I see feminism and Islam in the same context where they two always seemed contradictory to me. The book uses post-colonial theories to analyze discourses on the role of women then and now and explores the notion of modernity as it is understood and adopted in the policy making of these societies. Modernity itself is highly debated among scholars with its roots stemming from a time that we would not characterize as modern now and with the added complexity of the existence of postmodernism in the mix. The dual role of women is a central theme of these articles which is where I hope to find the theoretical backbone of my research.

At the last peer review workshop I attended in Bradford I was audience to one of the best research presentations I have ever seen. She was a colleague from the Netherlands who is doing an auto ethnographic study of herself in the three roles that she holds in her universe. Her ability to draw and maintain the lines between her three roles throughout her journey was outstanding and I am so much more interested in the literary aspect of the DBA than its scientific merit that I am seriously considering this approach.

One of the integral components of writing such research is maintaining a detailed journal of not only what has occurred in my life but also my mindset at the time and the "conversations" I'm having about it. Hence I thought why not use my blog for this? It is after all a form of ranting isn't it?

Loss

It's not easy to lose something.. Or someone.. It's not easy to have something and suddenly not have it anymore. A loss is a loss with varying degrees of difficulty. The more attached you are to it the harder it is to come to terms with losing it. 

Sometimes you lose someone who was once close and that loss manifests itself into great lament. Why did I not pick up the phone when she called? Why wasn't I there when she needed me? Why didn't I call her the other day? Moments that you could have had but didn't because you've taken life for granted. A life so short you one day sit and wonder where it went.. And we keep doing it over and over again.. Taking life for granted.. Because we lost a friend once surely it won't happen again? Not twice.. Not to us.. Well it does happen. All the time. To everyone..

Sometimes you mourn the loss of something you don't even have.. It is something for which you had been hoping and praying but then you lose that hope.. That's probably the worst kind of loss. Because hope is something you always have and when what you're hoping for doesn't happen it's a loss that occurs over and over again. It's the same redundant sadness that just doesn't get any better.. It's a loss you keep losing..

No words of advice here.. I cannot preach what I do not know. All I can say is I'll try not to take it for granted.. Life I mean.. But also everyone around me.  It's not worth the guilt..

All the Light We Cannot See: A Review… Sort of

Half way through All the Light We Cannot See by Anthony Doerr I paused to reflect on human nature and how people are sometimes forced to conform with a socially constructed concept to which they may or may not subscribe yet find themselves consciously participating with a heavy heart and a niggling feeling in their throats..

The book is set during WWII German invasion of France and depicts how "Hitler Youth" are trained to become soldiers for the reich on one hand and the devastation caused by the invasion particularly to a young blind girl who has a vision bigger than any sighted person you’ll ever know.. Told from the perspective of those conformists who do not subscribe to the ideologies prescribed by the "Fuhrer" the story personifies the inner turmoil that one feels when doing something with which they don't particularly agree and the feelings are real and applicable to even less dire situations..

Even in the face of severe punishment for nonconformity people find a way to express their individuality and break away from social norms. The angry French women who supply food and wash clothes use their services as an underground resistance while on the surface they appear to comply hiding little messages in loaves of bread or adding minuscule amounts of toxic elements to the Nazis’ laundry or the kids in the orphanage who find solace in a forbidden radio frequency that tells them all about the world which they would otherwise never experience..

Lights and color are recurring motifs that run in parallel throughout this novel. Marie-Laure, the blind girl. identifies the world by the colors she perceives in everything she experiences. these colors are from her memory as a child but each person or place has a special color that does not necessarily correlate with reality. The lights vary in brightness, the happier the experience the brighter they are. The sea, her favorite place, is a shimmer in her world where all her troubles disappear.

The story runs in many parallels that revolve around the paranormal, depravity, desperation, conformity, camaraderie and loss. It even delves into the world of physics, electronics and marine biology. It was difficult to stay engaged and I got lost in the plot on several occasions but I was determined to finish it because I was too stubborn to let a book go to waste. I was drawn to it from the Kindle reviews and the best-selling status of its author, Anthony Doerr. It is akin to a book that would be assigned as high school reading and I envision it to become one of the classics of our time.